Archive for Stress

Spring Has Arrived!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2012 by dianaswonderworks

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Well, according to the calender spring is finally here. According to the weather it has been summer for about a week and now, more like winter again! Kind of a strange year I think, even though I am new to this area and can’t really base it on experience here. I can make a judgement on past experience in other places and on what I hear is normal for this part of the country. All seem to agree this is a very unusual winter and now spring as well.

Sorry it has been a while, been doing a lot of things to get my life and career on track, no great news so far. Things seem to be moving at a snail’s pace when all I want is for it to be over! Very typical of some one wanting and needing change, it never seems to happen fast enough. Then once it is over, we look back and seem to think it wasn’t so bad. Hind sight is 20/20, but memories and emotions are so easily altered! Guess it is a good thing, because if we did not have the ability to forget, pain, suffering and stresses in general, most of us would not have been born!

I have been working on some new art, while I still have the extra time. Unfortunately I have not taken pics of them yet, but they are on the way. Still trying to find steady and reliable work. I keep putting applications out there, going to interviews and so far no one around here is hiring for at least another month. I hope to broaden my search soon, at least once my car is able to be road worthy. Lots of hold ups, so I am spending my time not only looking for work, but also trying to make money in unconventional ways. Currently, I am working on a painting for a client, should be done in a few more days, I will also take a picture of it. That way you can see what I have been working on.

Life still goes on, and every day, I work really hard on visualizing the life I want, and keeping my mind heart and soul in the happiest place possible. Sounds like an excuse, it just seems some days are harder than others. I know it will get easier, once things really start moving in the direction I want them too. All and all, I am in a good place. Occasionally, there are a few people in my life, that seem bent on pushing me down, the difference now is, that I do not let it keep me down. Sometimes I even manage to slip by without it affecting me at all! That is a real accomplishment. I am ready for a  life where I am completely independent again, and I do not have to answer or accommodate anyone. Time for me to be free again! One thing I know for sure, is I was made this way, very  independent, therefore this cannot last much longer. We tend t create what we need the most. I am hardily working on this part of my life, so hard I am split too many ways sometimes. For now, this is my path until the right doors appear, and then I will work night and day to blow them wide open!

Anyway, haven’t checked my lottery ticket yet, I could be a millionaire right now! What a great way to start off the week! Hoping you are having a wonderful weekend and sending you my love as always, diana

 
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Life In The Making!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2011 by dianaswonderworks

 

Well, it has been a little bit. Been so busy, winter will be here soon and I don’t have heat. Forget starving artist, how about freezing artist. Looking all over for a way to get heat, looking for a second job, trying to sell art, looking for an apartment that includes heat (that I can afford), one thing after another. So, at the end of last week, I put my art up in the local library, was hoping to get some sales out of it. However, so far no calls or offers on my work or any calls on commissioned work either, It has been difficult, it seems that things are still moving a head, but at a snail’s pace. It has made it quite difficult some days to stay optimistic, and some days I have failed at that task. So much pressure and so little time, and the constant doors slamming in my face. But, one thing I know for sure, something will happen, all for the good, and each slammed door is getting me closer to the one that will open for me.

Now, as you can well imagine, promoting online has had its hurdles as well, mostly time for it, and really not having my computer up and functioning. This is another thing I am trying to get together again, but having a roof with heat takes priority for now. But, I do miss the sales from online, every dollar helps, and I am missing those dollars for sure! I have been dabbling in some crafts as well, anything I can do to make a buck. The more I do, the more I increase the odds of sales, however, the more I do the less time I have for all the other things I do, like my blog. I really do miss having time to share things with you, and I do love to hear back from you as well. So, just so you know what is all on my plate, I am still working to make the illustrations for my children’s book, I am making rag rugs, rag baskets, wash cloths, painting, drawing, working a full time job, looking for a second income, or a better one so I can survive,looking for a place to live, and trying my best to keep up with all my shops and sites online.

Oh, and I have something to say! Not sure how many of you are familiar with Artfire. I had a shop on there until very recently. It seems they changed their policy, and if you do not pay a monthly fee to have a shop, they deleted you all together, well the shop, and all you can be on for without paying is a buyer.  I thought that was really a bad move. I am not sure, how others did, but I had one sale in the two years I was on there, and that was made by a friend of mine, trying to help me out. I was not going to continue to pay them, when I was not making any money on the site at all. I can only hope, for their sake, that others are not having the same problem as me, It could be hard for them to pay as well. In the end, Artfire may suffer from being hasty and greedy, in an environment where, so many people are like me. Scrambling just to eat and stay warm, doing what they can to make ends meet. Not in a position to throw out money, when there is not enough coming in. Just food for thought.

I am finally playing the lottery again, no big wins, but I am hopeful and more confident than ever, that my day is coming fast. Hoping you are having a happy and safe weekend. Sending my love to you and yours as always, diana

 

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Fighting Fear And Loss Of Trust!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on August 19, 2010 by dianaswonderworks

Well, today started off much better in so many ways. I got some extra sleep, much needed after all the lack of it the last week or so. Got out and picked up a few newspapers and am set on a game strategy for tomorrow. I have some household errands to run, and Avon orders to deliver, and need to drop off a few resumes as well. Trying not to let my anxiety (fear of what will happen tomorrow), overwhelm me is a new thing for me. Most of my life, I have had this problem and did not realize what it was. After the last major upheaval in my life, when I did seek some medicinal help,  I found out what it was. A doctor I went to diagnosed me as having anxiety, never knew it, never really knew what anxiety was. I always thought it was like depression, and I knew I was not depressed, I thought I was stressed out! But, she was kind enough to explain anxiety for me and I understood. For many years, since then I have been very successful at controlling it, understanding the nature of what it was helped me to get a handle on it. I feel much freer of fear and stress, just knowing it is my mind creating every worst possibility and letting it scare me to insanity.

After much thought and analysis, I came to the realization that I cannot change my minds ability to to see all the variables of what could happen next.  Nor did I want to make my brain stop working the way it did, I like being able to figure out the possibilities and my options, and what the best odds are for me. In my mind that is a good ability to have. So, the next step was to reprogram my brain not to go into fear mode, which I believe was the basis for the anxiety. Fear is not a positive emotion to have, when fear takes over rational decision making goes out the window. Rational thought is what keeps me grounded. It has taken a few days to really get control over those fears, and it is still a daily struggle in many ways. But, I have made up my mind to do all I can to fix the mess I am in, and also prepare myself to the possibility that no matter my best efforts, I could lose everything I know. That is a sobering thought, and that thought alone is what compels me to work as hard as I can not to let that happen. Many times in my life, despite my best efforts, thing went in a direction I did not want. As much as I hated it, things worked out well and all led to new adventures, new acquaintances, and really a new awareness of me and the goals I have in my life now. So much has changed, and although parts of me still mourns the loses, the majority of me is amazed at how much I have survived, and how well things have worked out!

Well, that  being said, nothing new today. The lottery did not pick my numbers, yet! I do not have a job offer, yet! I am still warding off the fear demon, but getting more successful everyday. Learning to really love and appreciate those that are reaching out to me, just to cheer me up from day to day. Looking forward to the end of this period of madness, and another new chapter full of new beginnings. Hoping you are having a wonderful day, all my love to you, diana

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