Archive for remembering

In The Beginning……

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 6, 2012 by dianaswonderworks

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In the beginning I was taught to not trust, to not expect anything from anyone, except maybe harm. In the beginning they told me life was hard and fraught with peril and sadness, struggle and pain. In the beginning they wanted me to work hard, no matter if it was hard work or even if it killed me a little everyday. But even in the beginning, I thought they were wrong! All the good that surrounded me, and all the love and caring people shared with each other, was so very obvious to me.  How could it be that no one around me was seeing this? It was sadly, the way my family thought and taught us to be. My voice was always quiet, never had a lot to say, but when backed into a corner I always stood up for what I believed in. One day, I said it all out loud, and from that day forward, I was the stupid one, The daughter who was the black sheep, the prodigal child, who deserved nothing more than pity at best and ridicule at worst. So here I am, still wondering when we are all going to wake up and smell the roses.

Once upon a time, in a simpler world we all took time to appreciate the things that were around us. Smelling the flowers or the fresh breeze. Looking into the sky to see what shapes the clouds would make or what stars were in the sky. Feeling the air on our skin, and the rain drops and snowflakes on our tongues. Once upon a time, when we were not so busy being distracted by all the noise, and trinkets in our hands and pockets, we remembered to say hello to the person walking past us on the street. Not some monotones gesture, but a true greeting, full of warmth and friendliness. Once upon a time, our neighbors were like our family, and they were all loved and respected for whatever they offered to us and society in general. All people had worth, all people were deserving of love and companionship, all were regarded as special in some way or other.

This is not about a “Oh woe is me” kind of blog. This is about remembering some of the things we used to value. This is about taking a moment everyday to reflect on the value of all life and its connection to us. Remembering the simpler  times, and cherishing those moments, in the hopes that these qualities can return to us. Looking for the beauty around us, will only increase the chances of seeing more beauty. The more we appreciate it, the more beautiful it becomes, the more we see to appreciate! So, for my part, today I am focusing on the things that make me feel love. The things that fill my heart with joy and happiness, the things that make peace a living breathing part of my life. Today, I am working harder than any other day to bring that part of me into fullness. My goal, is simply to rejuvenate myself to the sweetness and bliss of the child they tried to change. To bring back to life that zest for living, and the joy of seeing, the happiness of dreaming and the bliss of some ones simple gesture of love and kindness! Today, is the newest beginning in a process of reclaiming the ecstasy of that happy child, full of  naivety, not in the way people think, and maybe even then some. Sometimes ignorance of the ugly things in the end spares us. Spending too much time focusing on the horrible things will always jade us, and in worst cases ruin us. How can we love anything or anyone, when we fear everything that is around us?

Hoping your having a great day! Sending my love to you as always, diana

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Learning To Trust Again!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 4, 2012 by dianaswonderworks

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Well, just my thoughts in general these days. It is funny how life can spin you around from one thing to the next. Right now my life in many ways resembles my life twenty or more years ago. I have been very studious about it.It only occurred to me a few weeks ago, how much my life right now mirrors my life back then. Constantly looking to see what the lesson  or lessons I need to remember so I do not find myself in that place again! So many of the circumstances are like a dream from yesterday, faces and names have changed, but the similarities to that point are unmistakable One thing I know for sure, is that I cannot and will not repeat it, just fix what I missed.

I do know that I have changes so much. I am not as timid, still quiet and laid back, but not afraid to be myself! Even if being me costs a friendship or any kind of relationship. Maybe it isn’t about learning anything other than the fact that I am different, even better than I was before. My confidence is greater, my love is stronger, and my outlook on life in general is so much better than it was. I am happy and comfortable being alone, but not denying that I will one day soon will be in love again. This time it will be better than ever! Knowing more about myself and what I like and don’t like helps. But even more so, the fact that desperation is not part of my vocabulary anymore. Knowing I am okay by myself, makes it easier to see things more clearly and rake my time, before those rose colored glasses get in the way.

The bottom line is that learning to love is easy, learning to trust is the hard part. Truthfully, how can u really love in a pure way, when u cannot trust in a pure way. No strings attached, no drama, no guilt or rules, that is the hard part. Learning to trust is easier when you realize, that if some one fails you, it is okay. It is not a reflection of you, it is only a reflection of the person who betrays that trust. And guess what? That is the one who should be doing the soul searching! We must learn to trust, we must learn to love, it is in all of our best interests to do so. We not only grow as individuals by doing this, we grow as a race, when we learn to give the best of ourselves to our self of course, and then to others (whether they deserve it or not), and to the planet or world we live in. Just remember, even we do not deserve the kindness others show us, it is not about deciding who deserves it. If it was based on this, none of us would ever see an act of kindness, it is about the one smart enough to know, the act of kindness is what we deserve to give ourselves. When we learn to be kind to ourselves first ( knowing we don’t always deserve it), it becomes easier to be kind to everyone and everything else, no matter what.

Hoping you are having a wonderful weekend! Wishing you a great week as well. As always sending out my love to you and yours, until we meet here again, diana

 

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