Stuff vs. People!

Today I had an epiphany, so many things going wrong in my life and not understanding the why and what of it all. In discussion with the latest dead relationship in my life (a person). I realized that everyone of the relationships I have lost, is primarily based on selfishness, but even more specifically stuff! I realize that people or humans are inherently selfish. I guess I just never realized how bad it was. When people don’t get the stuff they want they throw people away like trash. It appears that bonds with people do not compare to bonds with stuff. I find this concept shocking. There has never been any kind of stuff that I value more than the love of a person dear to my heart. I give stuff away all the time, if some one touches my heart, especially if I am giving them something that, they love or find endearing. That is one of the reasons I love making things, it gives me great joy to bring a smile to some one’s face. I am coming to the realization that apparently people like me are a dying breed. That saddens me. I am not saying that it isn’t nice to have nice things, I am saying that if I had to choose between giving up things to be with some one I loved that the choice is not a choice, love would always win. I guess in my case, I am an artist and a hopeless romantic.

Today I will be working hard on some paintings, lots to do. I can only hope and pray, like every other day, that my work will be rewarded. Rewarded well and soon, is the hope. All these thoughts of greed and lovelessness, make me want to paint, and I think in some ways, make me more of a hermit. It isn’t as though I could actually be a hermit, I love to meet people too much, but the walls get thicker with time. Scared of what kind of pain some one can cause in my life. That is also a sad thought, because I know I am capable of so much love, locking it away seems such a shame. For now, however that is the best bet, concentrating on work and healing. Maybe one day I will be able to share it again, maybe then it will be some one who really appreciates it.

Have you ever seen hoarders? That is what I am talking about in the most extreme. These people do not even care for the suffering of their families, friends, they don’t even care about health issues, or the loss of connection with people. All they care about is their stuff! They slowly choke out the love of all those around them, and replace it with stuff. Like weeds gone wild in a beautiful rose garden. Eventually, the roses are long gone and even the weeds choke each other out. That is what I mean about sad, it is very sad. Some times I wish I could just shake sense into them. Unfortunately, we all have to come to these realizations on our own. No amount of talking, teaching, imploring will make some one understand the magnitude of those kinds of choices. They have to wake up alone and sad to realize what they have done to themselves and the pain they have inflicted on others. That is a bad day!

Okay, off the soap box for now. I did not win the lottery last night. Oh well, hopefully tonight will be better. Hoping sales will pick up online and in the craft show set up. This weekend will still be hot, but hopefully, with all the storms in the forecast, it will be more bearable and folks will be out shopping. I did two small paintings last night, but I am convinced they are lacking something, so no pictures of them today. An oldie but goodie will have to do for now. I am thinking sunshine to represent summer fun and a sunny heart, after such a dark winded blog. I think we all deserve to end on a happy note. The only heart I can change is my own, such it is, and always has,, and always will be! Grieving that loss and the birth of a new chapter, I am signing off for now. All my love to you all, diana!/profile.php?id=100000810145663*

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