Dr. Phil And Relationship Advice

Well, I just just finished watching a rerun of Dr. Phil, it was about marriage advice. I agree with many of the things that he and his experts say, I just don’t think they take it far enough. He said at one point that relationships are not always meant to last (specifically marriages), I agree. He said we shouldn’t allow ourselves to leave emotionally bankrupt and I agree, but also disagree. I believe when you feel your self feeling like you aren’t being treated fairly, and you are wounded, that is when you should toughen up and make your boundaries clear. Why do we wait till things are so ugly to acknowledge that there is a problem? My rule of thumb is simple, I expect to be treated the way I treat other people. In any relationship and more so in a dating or marriage relationship, I expect that for sure. Does that mean, one screw up and I am out the door, guess it depends on the error. If my man came in the door and said to be, get me a beer, I would laugh at him. That is the beginning of disrespect, I don’t do orders. This is not a restaurant, and if it was he wouldn’t talk to the waitress that way, he would ask politely. In my opinion, these are the beginnings of what you expect from each other in a relationship. If you tolerate that disrespect, then it moves on maybe tomorrow, you don’t keep the house clean enough, or your friends are not good enough, or you don’t dress properly.These guidelines need to be set early.

I think as a species, we are just so stupid and unrealistic. We expect so much from others and very little from ourselves. The rules should be clear from the beginning. I am not a cheater, I will not date a cheater. I am not jealous, I will not date some one who is jealous. I am not a control freak and I won’t date one, etc… The best help we can give ourselves is to be real about who we are, if you are the type of person who cheats, than you should date some one who cheats, keeping it real and keeping it balanced. Truthfully, if you cheat or are jealous I feel you should counseling, being in a relationship is not a good idea. It can only be bigger problems later. Back to what I mean, be clear to yourself first, about who you are and then decided what kind of person you want to be with, then start looking. If you aren’t in a healthy state of mind you have no business pretending to a good partner to any one. If you can’t live alone with yourself, you will never be able to live with some one else. You have to be your own best friend first. That way you will know how to be treated, take yourself out to the kinds of places you like and get used to that. One day, you will find some one that fits in that life style.

People change I know and sometimes we do compromise for love. It is just that it shouldn’t be the priority, changing a bad habit or two to be a better person is always a good thing. Changing to make some one else happy is never a good thing. Anyway, off the soap box for now, got to get some sleep. Sweet Dreams and happy mornings to you all, with love, diana

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2 Responses to “Dr. Phil And Relationship Advice”

  1. Desmond Britt Says:

    What you have is very good reading. I usually read marriage/relationship matter at mierue.com

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